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<H1> What we can learn from animals about coping with human life

(Or.. Four things I learned about life watching eagle cam videos)

Written by Coach Tina

Last Updated: 1/9/2024

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When I have trouble sleeping, I usually turn to my trusty friend YouTube. There I search for calming, slow moving videos that involve gentle souls living in their cabin, water coloring birds, sipping their herb tea near their fireplace and talking softly about their creative process. Other times it could be a four hour-long walking tour. You guessed it- just a person walking at a normal pace through their city- preferably a boring city. I have to be careful the video doesn’t get too interesting, or I will want to stay up to watch it. A good example is the documentary of the Charles Bello architect who built his entire homestead out of the redwood trees he lived in- by hand! It was so enthralling I was wide awake.

Recently on one such sleepless night, a live cam video of a pair of bald eagles named Jackie and Shadow in Big Bear Valley in California popped up. This seemed like watching paint dry- perfect for falling back to sleep. This would numb my brain for sure! It did help me to fall asleep eventually, but I found something interesting happened. I was hooked, and during the day I found myself with a new routine each morning- checking in on the birds who are usually sitting on their eggs and staring away in the distance (eagle eyes).

I also noticed I was drawing big parallels to human life and challenges the longer I watched these birds. This is strange because their lives are so different from ours. But sometimes you need to be pulled into someone else’s world to see your own world differently, right? After a week of watching these eagles, reading eagle facts, and annoying those closest to me with “we can learn from eagles” talk, I will now share with you the four most important things I have learned from my time with the Friends of Big Bear Valley Eagle Cam.

<H1> 1. Real time moves slowly- and we need to feel that, as time urgency creates unnecessary anxiety.

The first time I clicked on the live stream I saw Shadow the eagle- sitting, and sitting, and sitting in the nest. Blinking, and breathing. In real time- from California through my TV all the way in Ohio. It started to snow on the nest, and a huge gust of wind ruffled the eagle’s feathers and swayed the tree. A strange thing happened- I couldn’t click away. A bit like they say people can regulate your nervous systems by breathing together, it was so calming to have this eagle exist at the same time as me. My world was full of distractions- choices-texts, interruptions, obligations, chores, worries, and the eagle’s world was full of sitting, breathing, and being alive in the world. So I did the same. I sat and breathed with the eagle. I wondered what he was thinking when he turned his head towards a sound. I was immediately pulled into the eagle’s world, and my mind started to loosen.

I got the sense that this is real time- it brought me back to being a kid in the analog years and being bored, having true brain silence, waiting forever on others and having nothing to do but to let go and go with the flow. Less choices, less distractions, just the slow clicking of the clock. That excruciatingly long stretch between the next holiday, or your next birthday. This is real time! Not the time between notifications or tasks, or the next crisis, but the time in between gusts of wind, or movements of the sun, or chirps of the birds.

Have you ever noticed how long your pet sleeps? How long your cat will stare out the window at the birds, or how long your dog likes to sit outside and smell the air, and listen to the sounds of the squirrels running in the leaves. Time for them exists in the space between each breath, with the only urgency being curiosity about what is existing now. Join them in this, sit by their side, take their lead, and follow their timeline. They have a lot to teach us- remind us- about real time.

Real-time happens in between our breaths, in between the breezes, and out in nature. Shadow and Jackie contemplate this from their nest in the tree 125 feet in the air. I’m not sure which tree as I’m no super fan, but my guess is the one on the far left. Photo Credit of Friends of Big Bear Valley

<H1> 2. Don't give up- Believe in the outcome of your daily, consistent actions

Once I saw Jackie the eagle take a huge, crooked branch with many connected smaller branches into the nest. Jackie, who could only use her beak to adjust the stick, continued to wrangle the stick into a position which to her looked like an option, then would snap off a branch, and try with her big yellow beak to make that smaller stick fit in some way. I looked at the rest of the nest in awe- this must have taken these eagles months going at this pace! And after two minutes of watching I realized- I as a human, who had gone through many difficult challenges so far in my life, would have given up after 2 minutes.

That’s right - the eagles beat me for resiliency.

If I was an eagle I would have failed to provide a home for my eagle family.

I had always thought birds were just great at building nests, it came easy to them. But, after seeing Jackie the eagle I realized it was a struggle. And especially after seeing some telling titles to other videos “Stick Struggles,” “ It’s Raining Sticks,” and my favorite “Unfittable, Uncooperative, and Unruly sticks.” It turns out building a nest is a daily chore, requiring many stick wrangling sessions. It’s less skill- but more persistence and consistent, daily action that keeps their nest usable.

Jackie and the massive stick she decided on, note the smaller stick she is holding under her right wing at the same time. Did you know they could do that? America! Photo credit to Friends of Big Bear Valley

As a life and career coach by profession, I see this every day with my clients- it’s less skill and more persistence and consistent daily action that gets results- no matter how small the actions.

Just like us, eagles have their challenges, but they do not have the option of giving up, it is the instinctual drive to survive that keeps them fighting the sticks into a home.

The next video I saw had a snow storm, and Jackie was completely covered by snow as she sat on their eggs to keep them warm - for hours. Motherhood has been a challenge sometimes, but never that hard!

In a negative moment last week, I found myself asking “ Is this eagle nest with no roof in winter bad?” No- my life is good- I have shelter and a roof over my head, and thankfully my offspring are older and don’t need me to sit on them for hours!

The bump is Jackie’s head and beak, keeping her eggs warm and waiting for her partner to give her a break. I guess we’ve all been there in some way…. Photo Credits Friends of Big Bear Valley

<H1>> 3. Support others by believing in their capabilities- and they will start to believe too

A challenge recently for the Eagles is that there is some external distraction outside the tree which is causing them to leave their two eggs unattended for longer stretches. This leaves the eggs open to predators like ravens, and among the 8,546 live viewers this morning, many are concerned about the safety of the babies.

A moderator reminded the viewers that this is not Jackie and Shadow’s first rodeo- they have successfully parented many eagle babies to adulthood- they know what they are doing, trust it. Besides, humans ultimately can’t control the nature of life.

Ouch! This universal truth is a hard lesson to swallow, especially if you are a helper or a caregiver for others, as most of us are in some way.

It’s gut wrenching for the bystanders- the live viewers- to see someone they care about risk failing or being alone. But if you think back to the moments that formed you into the person you are today- many times it was the riskier, worry-inducing moments where you found your voice. Moments of stating your independence, or learning that hard lesson alone- in the way you needed to learn it. The people that inspire us the most are the ones that believe in our possibility- yes you can do this, yes you are capable, and I am here how you need me to be. That type of support empowers us more than someone swooping in and solving the problem for us, showing us they believe us incapable.

The older I get this is the most important lesson I am learning. How do you navigate the delicate dance between support and autonomy in caring for others? How can you show your love, presence, and caring at the same time you encourage their independence and personal freedom? Answering these questions helps to define love and care from a place of respect, instead of perfection and control.

Supporting others is a delicate balance. Photo credit of Friends of Big Bear Valley

<H1> 4. Lead yourself, and then let go…. The ravens come and go, be at peace in the space between

Some of the more dramatic moments in Shadow and Jackie’s nest involved battling intruders, like the local ravens who are interested in the unattended eggs. Both birds needed to stand their ground and protect their nest by getting very big, screeching loudly, and slapping their large wings around (wing flaps). You might have to battle the ravens coming to steal your eggs- act big and flap your wings and stand your own ground. There are times when you will need to be strong in yourself, if even for just yourself- leading yourself through those dark, snowy, lonely nights protecting the eggs you want to hatch, even when it might be easier to fly away.

There are so many times in life when we do need to be our own leader, reminding ourselves of our own possibilities and strength, pushing ourselves with kindness towards the outcome we want, instead of staying stuck because of the outcome we fear. This can be even seen in small daily moments- talking yourself through stress and fear to focus on what’s important to your life. This has been a beautiful journey to go on myself and to witness in others!

After leading yourself you start to learn that the ravens come and the ravens go, and sometimes you can just let go. Once you let go your nest becomes comfortable, you enjoy your time in your nest, and you can relax knowing you are capable of handling whatever stick issues, ravens or snow storms life throws at you. When the time comes, you will handle the stress with all of your wisdom and learning, but in the times between let go and enjoy the lovely view.

Contemplating the meaning of life. Or maybe just wondering what to eat for dinner. Photo credit of Friends of Big Bear Valley

Watch the lives of Shadow and Jackie, but Warning — you may get hooked! Watch here- https://www.youtube.com/@FOBBVCAM

Coach Tina owns Move with Courage Coaching and gets so excited when two ideas come together- like eagles and life, or truth and courage. She still looks at the live stream, but only weekly, instead of daily, and is still can’t tell the difference between the two eagles. She enjoys her work coaching people to know where they are strong and courageous, and create a life that makes more sense to them. You can find her at www.MoveWithCourageCoaching.com or on Instagram at @movewithcouragecoaching

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